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Tag: Love
Universe
Two anxious birds.
Two anxious birds sitting on a tree.
Each wondering
“What’s wrong with me?”
“Why can’t I be like everybody?”
“Why can’t they understand me!”
Then anxiety sneaks in.
Although I discover no reason.
It is safer to love for a season!
Then love recedes into eternity.
For, in accepting responsibility,
One needs to see reality.
Accountability can be scary.
It’s not everyone’s cup of tea.
I don’t blame anybody.
It is lifelong learning.
To deal with self and vulnerability.
So, you and I will never be we!
As we are determined to be-
Two anxious birds,
Sitting troubled, on a tree.
This poem depicts power struggle in relationships and friendships, where the people involved sabotage the connection. The uninvestigated personal traumas can affect all people close to us especially who are emotionally connected to us.
Eclipse
Moon has a dark side.
Sun gets eclipsed.
Life has blind spots.
Sea has Cliffs.
Hidden from eyes-
Some drawings,
Still cast a spell.
Some eyes-
See what is behind
The veil.
The walls are meaningless,
When the thoughts connect in resonance.
Distance is nonexistent,
When vibes coincide.
I see the same moon,
That twinkles in your eye.
I hear your silent words in my ear,
As if, you are here, so near.
Some impressions are indelible.
Some romantics are incurable.
Some stars are our guides,
Regardless, why do they hide!
Bottomless Pit?
For those hugs and kisses,
Love’s sweet nothings,
All the emotions,
Amounting to devotion,
Upon him, were bestowed.
His heart was big.
It still wanted more.
Dreams were big,
The desire for more.
High passions and intense craving.
For possessions and to be a somebody.
Yet, inspite of all effort,
And being surrounded by wonderful people,
And inspite all the motivation,
With all the reasons which could bring him possible victories…
That never happened;
Was it ever meant to be?
His heart was angry, lonely, and longing.
Craving for what? A mystery?
For what he thought would be provided by another,
It was his own soul’s yearning.
His heart was big,
Its yearning was bigger.
Everything that went inside it,
Disappeared infinitely,
Tenderness failed to affect him.
Undoubtedly, his heart was magnetic.
It pulled affection towards it.
Even though, that heart waited for someone to stitch its damage,
Yet, whoever came close was pushed away.
For distance appeared safe.
Self-sabotage, though it was,
He knew no other way.
Only, if he could break this pattern.
Learning to give and receive love.
Feeling safety in closeness as in distance.
Rising in love, and not letting ego drown everything.
Accepting the uneasiness that comes with another’s close presence.
For love is unconditional, it is compassion.
Trusting someone enough to let things shift.
Till then, his heart with its emptiness is,
Nothing but a bottomless pit!
Red Rose
She adored the prince through and through.
Every day on his window-pane, she flew.
She sat and sang, songs so sweet.
She felt it was – what was meant to be.
Every day it made him happy,
It made him optimistic for the day.
Then one day, it was not enough.
She sang but failed to cheer him up.
There was no red rose he could get.
For his beautiful mistress!
He saw the white one and wished he was dead!
The nightingale was heartbroken.
That morning when prince awakened.
The bird had blood-fed the rose.
It was as red as could be.
The nightingale was no more.
The prince merrily plucked the rose.
A Rose to express his love,
Why? wasn’t love just enough?
Yes, life is not always fair…
True, not everyone cares!
रिश्तों का ताना- बाना – Ebb and flow of relationships!
रिश्तों का ताना बाना, Ebb and flow of relationships…
तेरा मुझसे लड़ना, मेरा तुझे मनाना, rising beyond ego clashes.
तेरा मेरे संग बैठना, मुस्कुराना, like blissful ecstasy.
रिश्तों का यूं बन जाना, our destiny.
धागे ये कच्चे हैं,
यूं उलझ गए ऐसे ही,
न मुझे खबर लगी,
न तुम समझे सही!
टूट जाते हैं जो धागे कच्चे,
गांठें पड़े, न जुड़े कभी भी,
दर्द के दरिया में,
रोज़ गोते खा रही हैं जिंदगी
इस कदर छा गया दिल में सन्नअटा, silence perpetually.
अब न मिलोगे कभी, acceptance eventually.
अब इस टूटे आइने में दिखे है, harsh reality.
कुछ का होता है यही नसीब, inevitably,.
रिश्तों का ताना-बाना, Ebb and flow of relationships!
Emotional crutches?
Trapped in a gloomy dungeon.
Everywhere darkness adorned.
There prevailed chains,
Brokenness, and pain.
Everything unreasonable and insane.
With all the might, I put up a fight.
Depleting me of my energy.
As I wriggled out of the dungeon, slowly.
There was light so bright.
Dazzled, I lost my sight.
Suddenly, the world was a new place.
As though I was born again!
I trembled as I crawled I got assistance and I survived.
Some motivated me in my despair.
Some offered me kindness and care.
Someone share a laugh.
Someone convinced me I was enough.
I tried to gather my strength to walk.
I was feeling weak still.
The ascent is always a steep uphill.
I saw a hand stretched towards me.
I took its support like crutches.
I walked a few steps and felt powerful.
As the weather changes, so does time.
Those dependencies are nothing but enzymes.
Chemicals in the brain create that fog.
The more you want something,
The further it got!
But I was in an unusual ‘high’.
Love gives you these wings.
Freedom to float anywhere, freedom to say anything.
Fantasy is a flight towards a dream.
Yes, I understand the science behind it all.
Mysteries, build adrenaline rush,
And push us to do hard things.
The ‘high’ is sufficient to move a mountain.
Is this ‘high’ making me an addict, insane?
In your world, you see the same stars.
Awestruck, we see the same moon from afar.
My mind and heart feel so connected,
Though the distance between us cannot be measured.
How do I see a sameness in differentiation?
There is a strong connection in this separation!
Although, I love the thought that we could be together,
This is but just a thought.
I want to feel close, yet I want to stay afar.
I am living in paradox.
Maybe, I am in love with this paradox.
Or is it that, I feel we are not apart?
Maybe I am imagining, what you’ll be,
It may just be my fantasy.
Maybe I distraught the reality,
Maybe I assume what is not!
Maybe there is more that I do not see.
Yet, it is making me the person I always wanted to be.
Dil mange more
(Inspired by advertisement by Pepsi)
Yeh dil mange more, Ahha!
More sunshine.
More Rain.
More Happiness.
More Gain.
More Profits.
No Pain.
A life safe and sane.
But, life is ebb and flow.
Impulsivness, mistakes, surrenders and the let go’s.
Still we try, to be wise.
Many plans we devise,
We polish our appearance.
Make everything so significant.
We disconnect from ourselves.
We justify the delays.
We ponder and we reflect.
So we don’t get in the same mess.
What are the wounds that we hide?
Oh, what all wars we fight!
Because we keep raising the bar…
We feel never enough,
Although we are!
All the glamour we adore!
Hey Dil, why do you always,
Always want more….Anhha?
Will there be an answer?
That window creaked. The iron bars made the rusty screeching noise as a four-year-old pushed and pulled them. It was powercut at DDA flats Keshav Puram. This corner window was her favourite hideout. Swinging there was her refugee from the world. Wondering if those rusty bars break? Her eyes were hazy with tears. Loud silence prevailed in the monotonous night. She found solace in the darkness. Pitch darkness. No scope for shadows. Even at that age, she knew that some amount of light was needed to create shadows. Shadows were scary. Shadows are always scary!
I am an alien. She usually thought. I don’t belong here. Alien? UFO’s was an intriguing topic of debate among elders. Door to the fantasy world for a child. An introduction to escapism. It was a fairytale. It was so tranquil. In a blink of an eye, she was teleported. The cool breeze blowing on her face in the chilled winter morning. Aromatic flowers in the garden. Sun shone magnificently in the sky. Clouds taking different shapes with the blowing wind. Grass moist with dew. The park had small hills. She enjoyed to roll down from them repeatedly.
As small feet could not match the walk, her elder brother made her sit on his shoulders as they stroll in the park. It was their custom to sing songs. Beatles… “We all live in a Yellow Submarine…”, “Let it be…” Her brother would sing and those words unknowingly started to mean so much to her. Most memorable time of the day were those walks.
Nevertheless, shadows are scary. They are self-reflection. They mirror our own insecurities. It takes a great amount of courage to look at our shadows (self). Being alienated is so painful. Many times one cannot related to where he or she belongs to. Sometimes, without realising, one can live alienated to self. For the concept of self is quite complex. Nature grounds. Feeling of belonging, an identity, image of self. Music is meditation. It’s an expression.
Dysfunction sinks in the subconscious when we are children. We became what we see. All of us felt like revolutionaries at our teenage. Trying to do things our way. Trying to defy society, however, eventually, gave up to the will of our elders as we grew older.
Today, as I sit to do this shadow or inner work. Those shadows are as scary at 44 years as they were at 4 years. I realise, I still need to be a rebel. Not outwards but inwards. Rebel to my social conditioning. Examining each thought as it rises. To discern how much of me is actually not me but what people desired me to be. It is hard work trying to break the pattern. To sincerely try, that, I don’t give my children the same dysfunction I inherited. And I hope I am not too late.
Its the journey of unbecoming! Concluding with lyrics from Beatles song (Thank you, brother, for introducing me to soulful music.)
“And when the broken-hearted people
living in the world agree There will be an answer, let it be.
For though they may be parted,
There is still a chance that they will see…
There will be an answer…….. let it be!”
(Beatles-Let it be (link below))
Musings - An Endeavour to writing 