Today the sky is blue!

Sunday, 22 March 2020

A few days back, there was a discussion on religion – what it is? What is the purpose of religion? The theory came up like- there could be unity if there is one or no religion.

sky earth galaxy universe
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

That set me questioning, as to what can ever unite the world? With each one following different faiths and ideologies all coming to a common consensus was nearly impossible. The world has both believers and atheists and numerous religions. Will, we ever develop acceptance and tolerance towards others in ‘Peaceful co-existence’?
What on earth can ever unite us?
People with power and ulterior motives lead humanity their way, using religion as a tool. Group dynamics of fear and anger is used to make one human fight with another human in the name of caste, creed, region, religion, nationality, and just anything. In all this humanity becomes insignificant.

As I was pondering over religion, politics, god, and humanity, guess who joined the debate- Corona!

It seems like a movie. Movies usually leave us thinking and introspecting. However, more often than not, the movies have protagonists who set it all right in the end. The audience departs the theatre relaxed.
This stuff – is real.
This is no fiction. No superheroes are coming to save us.
The lockdowns, the confinements and the scare – all real. With an increasing number of positive Corona cases and home quarantine cases, stress is increasing. High population density, ignorance and poor personal hygiene are the catalyst to initiate this blast. With limited medical and healthcare, India sits on this bomb.
Did we all not see this coming?
Some Virus attack. Highly contagious. Discussions -if it was biological warfare, targeting some countries and economies. Pressure on medical systems. Bad guys exploiting the situation- selfish motives and inhuman traits surface. They later become prey to their greed, under the same conditions. Despair. Loneliness. Disease and suffering. Deserted, desolate streets. Morbidity, fear of death. All emotions touched.
It is not the Hollywood thriller, as a child, I had wished to be a part of. Looking forward to boasting of superhuman stamina to save the world by being part of Star Trek or Matrix. That was a childhood fantasy.

Today this is humanity in existential crisis!

Desolate streets, birds singing.
Clean sky, prevailing morbidity.
Calm restlessness everywhere.
Silence shouts loud. Paradoxes coexist.
This lockdown has slowed us in every respect. More introspection.
More respect for nature. Consumerism’s meaninglessness.
Minimalism is need of the hour.
We are learning to pause.
Maybe, we will come out of this clear and clean. Maybe.
Maybe, we will accept new perspectives and evolved mindsets. I really pray we do!

In all this, there is another irony. Role of religion and God!
I find it so striking that all the religious places, of all religions, are closed down. Has God turned us away? Does he want us to alter our perspective? Maybe he wants to say “Go home to yourself, that is where you will find me!” Maybe he wants us to look inwards!

So, not religion, not money, not a dictator, not resources, not love but fear of death has connected the entire world. Irrespective of borders, the world unites. Humanity unites to fight a virus!

Today, in the evening, I heard loud bells ringing and people clapping, banging utensils. As PM Modi had requested people to do so. If there is an astrological reason or not, I don’t know.
I conclude that group dynamics and collective consciousness does play a very important role and always would. Mass meditations and prayers do always impact. There has been a lot of research done on it. “Maharishi effect” is the term that can be googled to see more information on it.

I stepped out to feel the vibrations, all in unison. I was looking at the clear blue sky, wondering, will a miracle descend? Is there a God listening to all this? Suddenly, I felt overpowered, I felt vibrations making a magical impact on my senses. It was mesmerizing. All the neighbours smiling at each other. Enjoying clapping, striking the bells and the utensils. This act was refreshing after the day’s lockdown.
Undoubtedly, we are all connected. We are energy bodies. Unfortunately, we consider our self as matter. There has been no better living example like today when we feel so connected with each other.  Connected in fear, suffering and pain.
Connected on social media- Facebook, chats, WhatsApp groups, phone calls inquiring about each other’s welfare, writing poems, showing gratitude, appreciation and love. Writing apologies to ask forgiveness.

Energy connects us as we pray, collectively – This shall too pass!

Fragments of Kindness

Photo by Nandini Kathuria

It was 2:30 am, 31st December 2019. The year was going to end in a few hours. She tossed and turned in her bed, not able to fall asleep. It had been a very happening year. A turning point in her life. Today she was reminded of someone. A kind lady whom she had met in the hospital some twenty years ago.
The most challenging time in life a woman is, childbirth. It was past midnight. She was admitted to a ward in Jaipur Golden Hospital for a C-section. It was a planned Cesarean. Doctors had suggested surgery as the baby was breech. It was life-threatening for the child to go for normal delivery. At 23 years she was quite a child herself. It was her life’s first surgery. She was very scared. Hospital and those smells had invariably made her nervous.
Past midnight an argument broke between her and her husband. she lay trembling as he shouted at her. Delivery time and stress got on her nerves and she began to cry. Seeing her cry he lost it completely and began hitting her.”You know I don’t like your crying drama!” He yelled and hurled a few fits of abuse.
She felt as if everything was enveloped in darkness and the world was collapsing. She simply wanted it to stop. In those minutes she wished she was dead. All she badly needed was to be a reassured that everything would be alright. All her attempts to control tears were futile. She failed to understand why she was not being treated fair. She longed for a comforting hug and love that she thought was her due right, for, she was about to deliver into the world that tiny cute baby who would be the family’s pride.
He was agitated. Instead of being comforted, she was hit on her face. Shocked and angry she began to cry loudly. This led to several slaps right and left. Her face was red and bruised, but her heart was smashed and broken. Totally in pieces that pierced her soul. She hid her face in the pillow and wept. After a while, she felt the need to use the washroom. Her husband had slept on the settee near the door.
The room was partitioned into two parts with a plastic opaque curtain. There was a bed on each side of the curtain. The washroom was on the other side of the curtain. As she walked to the loo. The old lady who was lying on that bed signaled her to come to her bedside.
She went to her. The lady held her and hugged her and cried. The motherly affection at this time touched her immensely. She hugged her back and wept. “How will you live your life with this man?” The kind lady asked her. Some questions don’t have answers. The lady kissed her. She lovingly said, “May God give you strength”.
Some old ladies feel like blessings. She seemed to be an angel giving her the comforting hug that was so badly needed.
She secretly wished that the kind Aunty should not meet her parents. She might tell them about the fight and the abuse. For some reason, she didn’t want her parents to know about the regular abuse.

In the washroom she wept her heart out. Suddenly, she realized that her water bag had burst. She panicked. Going into normal labor was dangerous for the baby. She prayed. The doctors had to perform an emergency operation promptly. For some reasons, doctors had to give her oral anesthesia. The surgery lasted for almost ninety minutes and it took her another two hours to regain consciousness. The mental state she was in after the fight and the anesthesia during the surgery together had affected her brain. She had gone into shock. Her senses had numbed. Her responses became sluggish and dull. She was in a different world altogether. Everything was distant and unrelated. She would continually stare at wall and her mind was blank. Many memories were that meant so much were forgotten forever that day. Little did she know her life was changed for ever. Wit and intelligence had once been her charm. She had lost it all. Recollecting who she was, where she was, what day it was, all started to take unusually long time. This dull-headedness continued for many years that followed.

Post operation, her discomfort was heightened by visitors. Although doctors had advised bed rest for the entire day, she was compelled to pretend that she was normal. Her in-laws, who were so opposing to what all the doctors said, came to visit her. She was forced to sit and walk, smile and chat for almost three hours. The nurse, who came to check her temperature, as a routine, was shocked to see it. She quickly made her lie down and informed everyone that while the patient is in the hospital, he has to abide with doctors advice.
The crying of the newborn, would often bring her attention back from the state of nothingness. As she would hold the baby in her arms she felt a strange peace and calm descended upon her for sometime.

The shock-like state lasted for years. With passing years she got overall better as she began working full time. Anxiety still triggered the same trauma-like response in her. However, looking back she sees that the journey was a tough terrain trek. She saw herself as a soul on a journey, surviving the numb heart and the broken past! Healing always took time.

She was grateful to God for everything she had been through. She was grateful to the angels she met in the human form time and again, who have taught her the significance of empathy and compassion. It were these fragments of love and kindness along with her struggles and challenges that had navigated her into her current trajectory. She understood that everything that ever happened had facilitated the movement towards growth and ascension.

Dreams

Dreams can be strangers,
Dreams can be friends,
Dreams can be invaders,
Dreams can invent.
In them we get lost,
In them we unite.
In beautiful days we delight,
When things go smooth and
Life is dream-like, we smile
We gather memories, we delight
When it gets hard, we feel crushed
We call it nightmare and try to hush.
We hate our plight,
The fact is that whatever may it be,
One day we’ll leave, this abode
Let’s ponder where we go,
Let’s reflect on what we do.
Before the fate strikes!

Some people are catalysts!

I believe we meet people for a reason.
We meet people who we Need.
Certain people are Catalyst!
With them, we have a distinct connect,
They suddenly imply something intense!
Either through pushing, holding or scaffolding,
They somehow direct us. Indeed!
To our goal’s trail, they lead.
They provide us fuel to propel –
Us, on the path where we need to dwell!
They help us reflect on what we endure.
As there is nothing like forever,
So the catalyst bids a farewell!
No matter how good is our introspection,
Our self expectation is a hindrance,
For clear self-communication.
As it is conditioned by our beliefs and disbeliefs.
Everyone’s inner truth is subjective,
It’s an individual perspective.
There are no solutions in the endless discussions!
The sensory perceptions can be deceptions.
The explanation we seek is within.
It is a constant struggle to silence the maladaptive subconscious and empower the conscious.
When the conscious leads, we are connected with the answers we seek.
We keep expecting others to applaud,
When we should actually, give a pause!
Our intentions need our consideration.
“Why ?” should be our self-reflection…
Good intentions give us conviction.
We then realized we are not this body, not this mind.
The “lesson” is repeated until we comprehend.
I thank all my catalysts for making those connections…
In life, all we need is re-alignment and re-orientation!
This life’s purpose we attempt to achieve.
It is not in discussion but, in that silence,
We formulate ourselves to be the “me” we seek!

 

 

Perfect Day

Sunrise@SukhnaLakeChandigarh
What would a perfect day for me be… ?
 A beautiful sunrise in the lake, 
 The cold breeze and a little heartache.
 A longing to see the pretty face. 
 A longing to drown in those eyes. 
 A sumptuous breakfast and tea
 Meaningful glances as we discuss
 Trials of life as such! 
 The peace that follows,
 Knowing that I have, 
 Someone to fall back upon!
 Yes, in travel I delight. 
 Meeting new people, seeing sights. 
 Appreciating God's beautiful creations. 
 I drown in my own emotions…
 As the sun sets in the horizon.
 Awestruck I see it, with colourful hues…  
 As if it sets in my heart,
 Creating memories forever to cherish! 

Time

Time is quite a paradox.
Some believe it exists, others not.
We see the stars and the moon seems to glow.
The night sky is so beautiful with its all pomp and show.
Uncountable galaxies and the milky way,
Spiral around in the universe, always.
Time is immortal and immemorial.
The universe is full of abundance, it is so surreal.
What all we see, comprehend and conceive,
Whatever we perceive, with our limiting belief.
Let's reflect on what is the crux?
Life of man is made of stardust!
Once our life on this planet concludes,
All that our moral vision deludes.
We will travel beyond space and time.
All our memories will erode.
As we dwell in heavenly abode.
So discard the thoughts that we are just body.
We are neither this body nor just mind,
On Earth, we have a limited lifetime.
Why indulge in material possession?
These are an illusion, misguiding deceptions!
Then we blame it all on destiny.
Forever, the limit of time has been Infinity!

I deserve a better goodbye

Day 7 writing prompt
My world came crashing down,
In front of my eyes; I watched your exit; in despise.
As the door closed, into pieces my heart tore!
An intense pain drenched my soul.
Was it you who made me Whole?
Something within me broke, it took on a toll.
When you walked out of my life,
Little had I realized-
How heavy the catastrophe had struck.
I stared into the oblivion-with all my senses numbed!
My heartache made me feel silly and dumb.
Yes, sometimes, love is- just not enough!
Memories of you clouded my mind.
Remembering the good times, I smiled.
My smile gave way to tears, in no time.
You are gone forever-then I realized!
There is nowhere I could hide!
As inconsolably I cried, something inside me died.
Though I experienced the pain of confusion, rejection and separation;
You would never, ever, ever be forgotten;
For you have given my life a lesson!
I may not have anyone besides me,
Yet, bravely, I will face all obstacles.
Above all hurdles, I will rise- You wait and watch!
Yes, I will muster the courage, I will dust my heart!
For all that has been said and done, my soul's cry-
Definitely, I had deserved a better "Goodbye!!!"

The Alchemist (Day 6 Poetry Challenge)

Our hero walked through the Meadows,
And he read to the sheep in lovely mountain breeze.
He trod to the newer pastures and the newer lands.
He met new people and sang new songs.
Once he slept under a bush - Sycamore.
He again had this strange dream.
As if a great treasure was in his Destiny!
A Gypsy interpreted his dream,
On a promise, a part of the treasure, she would redeem.
He was led by a mysterious man-
To strange and distant desert lands.


For his voyage, he had to sell all his Sheep.
He was a hero- a brave man indeed.
He started for the distant Pyramids,
He remained true to his inner calling.
Though, not sure where it all would lead.
But, as destiny would have it,
He was robbed of all his money.
He was stuck in a strange land.
Sad, lost, disturbed his world crashed.
He started to work as a salesman.
Soon, he learnt people’s language,
Everything he began to understand.


He realized that the Universe communicated too.
Through signs, intuition and omens too.
Provided we would try and listen!
If we dare to dream,
With our intense conviction.
We will definitely achieve,
The treasures of our destiny!
He started his search for the Treasure,
With a man who was searching for the great alchemist.
Together they crossed the dry desert,
The terrain was difficult, dangerous and rough.
Our hero was victorious, saved lives and won hearts.
After many struggles he reached the Pyramids.
To claim the treasure he had to go back to Sycamore!
So, he realized, the universe conspires
As we strive to follow our dreams,
It ensures that we succeed.
Believe, truly believe,
We are our own Alchemist!

I am a Yellow Crayon

I am a “yellow crayon”…
My daughter calls me so.
I asked her, “What it means?”
She left saying, find that out – “go!”
Yellow, a color of excitement,
Yellow, a color of perfection.
A color full of optimism,
A metaphor for cheerful disposition.
Yes, I agree, in confession.
I have a magical button,
“Escape reality”, I call it.
When I press it, which, I do often.
Takes me to another dimension.
Life, there, is fun, beyond imagination.
There’s a freedom to create a story.
There’s a freedom to re-create history.
I have always, always lived this way.
Pushing those buttons far too often!
Yet, it is only a virtual device.
The device, has its own limitations.
At times, it gets me stuck,
In an inescapable dimension.
Then, for a while, I begin to live,
In reality, as everyone else does!
This mundane, I find, as boring as a rut.
I accept being this “Yellow Crayon”,
And this is so true…
Being an optimist to the core,
I am drowning in the ocean,
Still hoping, to reach the shore!

Musing by Monika