जिस रोज़ मैने गिले-शिकवों को मिटा दिया,
उस दर्द के मैं कायल,
जिसने खुदा मिला दिया ।
डूंडती रही जहां में, हर दर पर, हर दरगा में,
इक झटके में उसकी रहमत ने,
मुझमें, दीदार करा दिया।
उस दर्द के मैं कायल,
जिसने खुदा मिला दिया ।
सारे ज़रिए छूटे, सारे आडंबर टूटे,
मन के भावों में सिमटे गए,
जीवन के फ़लसफ़े ।
दिखते हैं रास्ते तेरी ही रहमत से,
तूने इस जीवन को मुकमल बना दिया।
उस दर्द के मैं कायल, जिसने खुदा मिला दिया ।
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As I was going through google notifications, I was taken in a time when I stood on the stage of Newton Hall, at SFHS, participating in a short skit to entertain students on the occasion of children’s day, 2014.
“Andher Nagari Chopat Raja” was a hilarious script written by my colleagues. I was performing as a mere umbrella carrier boy for the king. I think in the entire play, I had just one-word dialogue to deliver, which was – “bhago!”( meaning run!). However, as I had nothing to lose, no chances of error, I enjoyed every moment of the performance, mine as well as others. Children and my colleagues appreciated my performance and I was surprised that I got noticed for such a trivial role. Honestly, it was something I was doing for my own fun. I was enjoying the idea of standing on the stage and acting after so so many years. I was completely into that character, no matter how unimportant the part was. Today, I am reminded again of that enactment. The role I am playing now is of a middle-aged woman, a mother, a teacher, etc. No matter how insignificant my place in the universe might be, the calling is to play the role well. Sometimes, we don’t appreciate the story plot or situation we are in. Sometimes, the roles seem demanding. At times, different characters and their personalities challenge us and impact us unfavorably. At times, we want to call it quits. Occasionally, there are lighter moments and happiness and then there are painful moments and grief. We miss certain roles and long for specific characters to show-up for us in a special way. Maybe, we pray for a modification in the script or a transformation in our character. Whatever be it, we need to remember, that in this life, which looks like “The Andher Nagari”, we require to be a strong persona and that we can mature by understanding our life’s experiences as lessons. We require to be like the cinematographer and continue to edit and re-edit, work and rework at our thoughts, to bring authenticity and fineness to our lives. The motive is to customize, whatever story script that has been handed to us, in a manner, that leads us to live a more fulfilling life. As we all know, on this stage of life… The show must go on!
यहां महंगी नुमाइशें है, सस्ते इंसान है,
जवाबों के शहर में अधूरा सा सवाल हूं!
नशे की नींद में, उधार का ख्वाब हूं,
खाली पन्ने पर लिखे गहरे जज़्बात हूं,
एक गुमशुदा कहानी का मजबूर किरदार हूं,
कीमती अल्फाजों पर लगा विराम हूं,
हाथ की लकीरों पर कर्मों का हिसाब हूं,
क्यों, इस जवाबों के शहर में अधूरा-सा सवाल हूं?
When my life is in darkness,
You become my light.
When I struggle to get up,
You relentlessly support.
When I am sad and miserable,
Your humor, brings a smile.
When I feel lost and empty,
You become mentor, my guide.
When all my senses, numb!
You comfort me like the sun.
When I am confused and scared,
You become my life’s driving gear.
I can’t ever thank you enough,
For being there my friend.
For it is with you, everyday,
My time is well spent!
Oh, do I let that guard down?
Oh, do I let you see me?
Will you appear more powerful?
Will you control and hurt me?
How, can I let you do so?
How can I let you in?
How can I give my power away?
How can I trust anyone again?
So, out came the daggers,
To attack and to defend.
I would rather break my own heart,
Than let you win in vain!
Who do we become when we are challenged?
Who do we hide within?
Who are we in defiance?
When we all need the same thing?
Why is this struggle, to win over the other?
When the actual power,
Is in letting go, this struggle!
Victory is in the smiling faces,
In journeys to the happy places.
Our time here will anyways fly,
Whether we resist on comply,
When the soul’s calling is true-
Though we don’t acknowledge it,
You home me, as, I home you!
ऐ चांद तुम इतना क्यों इतराते हो?
यह तो कवि के अलंकार हैं, जो तुम्हारी शान बड़ते हैं,
उपमा, अनुप्रास, अतिशोक्ति से तुम्हें सज्जाते हैं।
किसी और की मेहनत का श्रेय यूंही ले जाते हो!
ऐ चांद तुम इतना क्यों इतराते हो?
माना कि तुम्हारी चांदनी बेमिसाल है,
उसे संवारने में काली रात का कमाल है।
तुम तो बस उपग्रह हो,
ज्वार भाटा ही लाते हो।
तुम यूंही सातवें आसमान पे पहुंच जातेहो!
ऐ चांद तुम इतना क्यों इतराते हो?
कहीं तुम्हारी चांदनी से जग शीतल होता है,
कही कोई आंसुओं से दामन भिगोता है।
किसिकी प्रीत, किसिके विरहा-भाव जागते हो,
जो तुम उन्हें देखपाते हो,हमें क्यों चिढ़ाते हो!
ऐ चांद तुम इतना क्यों इतराते हो?
कार्तिक में पूजे जातेहों,
महारास के दर्शन करते हो।
भोले के माथे पे सज्जकर,
अपने भाग्य पर हर्षाते हो!
ऐ चांद तुम इतना क्यों इतराते हो?
जिस आभा पे तुम्हें गुमान है,
सूरज का ऐहसान है, तुम यूंही,
दोस्तों के दमपे रोब जताते हो!
ऐ चांद, तुम इतना क्यों इतराते हो?
ऐ चांद, तुम इतना क्यों इतराते हो?
कभी-कभी मेरे दिल में,
यह ख्याल आता है,
You and I,
Are the riversides,
Invariably, greeting,
Never meeting,
In-between, life’s happening!
You and I,
Are the train tracks.
We journey together,
Yet apart,
Contemplating from a distance,
At Life’s rumbling engine.
You and I,
Relateable and head-strong,
Yet, weird, and so wild!
What’s our fate?
Do we let our ego,
Or fear decide?
अगर, मिल जाऐं ये किनारे तो?
उफ़! जज़्बातों का सैलाब आता है!
बस, यूँही खयाल आता है।
कभी-कभी…!
Musings - An Endeavour to writing 