In silence we meet

An incredible and enjoyable journey in life is the one, which we embark on as travelers and not as tourists. When we don’t have a set path. When there is no road map to guide. We just go ahead, a little unsure, a little uncertain as to what the future awaits. Not knowing what landscapes we would discover. Navigating slowly. Experiencing each moment. Embracing what it brings – the thrills, the disappointments, the joys, and the sorrows, as they appear. Soaking in the experience. These bittersweet adventures leading to our mental, emotional and spiritual growth.  
However,  our conditioning is such that, we attach meanings to everything around us. Everything “should” make sense for us to feel safe. If it doesn’t for some reason, we force our brain to give some connotation to it. If still, we can’t, then we become anxious and restless. Our mind is in continuous conversation with us. We live with constant chatter in our heads, day in and day out. The issue here is, that, we observe things through the lens of society. We infer meaning based on whatever mental programming we acquire while growing up. We identify so much with our mind, that we can not recognize this dysfunction. It requires us to get detached to make sense of it. Like we do with others, we need to give ourselves some space to unwind too. This means, we must learn to sit in stillness and just be. Sometimes, the inaction is the most rightful action! To let peace and calm flow, may mean, spending time alone. Especially to quiet the mental noise. However, being still can be scary for people who keep jumping from one thing to another and one activity to another, as a coping mechanism. Always wanting to stay busy to distract the mind from whatever is troubling us, is numbing. So, stillness can be tough. Staying calm and/or sitting in silence, brings one closer to one’s self. Similar to Vipassana Meditation, which is done by keeping total silence for days. Although it looks simple, many people leave it halfway, unable to complete ten days of the retreat.
So let us get curious. Why is this silence so difficult? What does staying silent bring about in us? What is that we don’t want to accept? Why does restlessness set in? Why is stillness discomforting and unnerving?

We may prefer to label this silence as meditation or mindfulness or awareness. Regardless, silence can wake us up inside. It is in this silence we meet – ourselves and others at a deeper level. We are interconnected in solitude. Observe this silence in nature, in life, between the events, at the beginning and towards the end of the day. It is transformational. Focus on the breath. Experience the internal calm. Silence draws our attention towards this very moment of our existence. It is in “this eternal now”, we can significantly and blissfully live!

One day at a time

December invariably makes me nostalgic. Every year. This year seemed to have halted in March and seems like “March-ember”!  However, the chilly wind, fog, and silence are the perfect setting for nostalgia to set in.
Today my thoughts are wandering to December 2018 when I jotted down my first poem after twenty-something years. It was so hard. My happiness knew no bounds. I had worked many hours to write a few lines.  Writing a few lines, in that mental state was such a difficult task. I was so delighted.

Why am I sharing this today? For two reasons.

Written in December 2018

First, I want to thank those people who stood with me at that time when I was so lost. Those who supported me in their own way. I appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. The inspiration I got to pick up the pen to write, in the first place in 2018, changed my life, totally. I found my voice. Thank you, my friends, for your loving and caring presence and all the encouragement.

The second reason is the journey itself. We need to reflect on the growth as well. Many times we are so critical about our own lives that we fail to pause and look back at the distance we have traveled. As psychotherapist Tory puts it, “Growth is not always how far we have come but also how far we can meet ourselves in our mess.”

These were not phrases. It was the battle cry! Looking back at the poem I can observe that even a 7-year-old could write better. Yet the journey begins with the decision to start – one step at a time, one day at a time!