Universe
Tag: acceptance
Two anxious birds.
Two anxious birds sitting on a tree.
Each wondering
“What’s wrong with me?”
“Why can’t I be like everybody?”
“Why can’t they understand me!”
Then anxiety sneaks in.
Although I discover no reason.
It is safer to love for a season!
Then love recedes into eternity.
For, in accepting responsibility,
One needs to see reality.
Accountability can be scary.
It’s not everyone’s cup of tea.
I don’t blame anybody.
It is lifelong learning.
To deal with self and vulnerability.
So, you and I will never be we!
As we are determined to be-
Two anxious birds,
Sitting troubled, on a tree.
This poem depicts power struggle in relationships and friendships, where the people involved sabotage the connection. The uninvestigated personal traumas can affect all people close to us especially who are emotionally connected to us.
The words vibe
“Control” is an interesting word. We all understand that the only thing, we possibly can control, is ourselves. So, when I mention control here, it is regarding self. We read about quotes like these – “If you don’t control your emotions they will rule you.” And “You can change your destiny by controlling your thoughts.” On my healing journey, I realized that this word is misplaced. We all are going through transformation and change and so should the word “control” in its context. I think it needs to be replaced by a more compassionate phrase – Self-regulation. I am in love with the world of words, and I find self-regulation to be organic and apt to substitute the word “control” in these quotes and in life in general. Rephrasing the quotes: “If you don’t self-regulate your emotions they will rule you.” And “You can change your destiny by self-regulating your thoughts.”
What is the difference? How does this even matter? The major difference is the vibration and connotation of the word.
Controlling is indicative of denial. It slowly builds resentment within. Self-regulation suggests acceptance and reflection with a desire for a favorable change. It does not bring resentment but builds confidence. The need to control thoughts, emotions, etc. implies there exists a state of powerlessness. Whereas, the word self-regulation shows that we already possess the power. It shows awareness of the situation that requires to be regulated.
Self-regulation is one of those points where spirituality and psychology converge. It is here divine inner spark is felt. While practicing self-regulation we can detach from the situation and avoid reactivity. Usually, self-regulation can be achieved using healthy mechanisms and tools like meditation, journaling, and exercise. Control is achieved by numbing, using alcohol, excessive eating, workaholism, manipulation, or such stuff (for self). Control works on the ego level. It seems to demonstrate strength. However, self-regulation operates on a deeper soul level to bring about a peaceful shift. It helps us to achieve alignment between body and mind. Goals can be achieved using either of them (or occasionally both of them) with practice. After all, the choice is ours. Transformation in any aspect of our life happens only when we integrate our learning with the choices we make. Quoting Carl Jung, “I am not what has happened to me. I am what I choose to become.”
After all, we decide our vibe!
Bottomless Pit?
For those hugs and kisses,
Love’s sweet nothings,
All the emotions,
Amounting to devotion,
Upon him, were bestowed.
His heart was big.
It still wanted more.
Dreams were big,
The desire for more.
High passions and intense craving.
For possessions and to be a somebody.
Yet, inspite of all effort,
And being surrounded by wonderful people,
And inspite all the motivation,
With all the reasons which could bring him possible victories…
That never happened;
Was it ever meant to be?
His heart was angry, lonely, and longing.
Craving for what? A mystery?
For what he thought would be provided by another,
It was his own soul’s yearning.
His heart was big,
Its yearning was bigger.
Everything that went inside it,
Disappeared infinitely,
Tenderness failed to affect him.
Undoubtedly, his heart was magnetic.
It pulled affection towards it.
Even though, that heart waited for someone to stitch its damage,
Yet, whoever came close was pushed away.
For distance appeared safe.
Self-sabotage, though it was,
He knew no other way.
Only, if he could break this pattern.
Learning to give and receive love.
Feeling safety in closeness as in distance.
Rising in love, and not letting ego drown everything.
Accepting the uneasiness that comes with another’s close presence.
For love is unconditional, it is compassion.
Trusting someone enough to let things shift.
Till then, his heart with its emptiness is,
Nothing but a bottomless pit!
Musings - An Endeavour to writing 