Adversity

Watching yourself grow is something I look forward to. 
I have been through dumps and valleys, through sadness and tiredness. I have been miserable for days together,  
For months I have been directionless. 
There have been nights I got up at 2:00 am crying for no reason. 
It felt as if my heart was tearing into pieces. 
The heaviness was unbearable. All I yearned was for death.  
I cried and prayed for an end to this unendurable pain. 
It seemed I was stuck in a lonely moor in quicksand. 
As if every minute was taking me closer to annihilation. 
Time was poignantly slow. There was an endless wait. 
I waited and waited. I waited, for an eternity, for "no one".  
And to my rescue, no one came! 
There, I stood in my life, directionless! 
Yes, God was always there, though, I felt he was a mystery. 
Yet, he was there, protecting me and guiding me. 
At times, breaking me and my believes. 
Restructuring my thoughts and my social conditioning. 
My perspectives towards matters changed.  Rather than remaining judgmental, 
I became exceedingly accepting. 
Yes, Adversity, shaped me and transformed me into a more authentic "me".